Mechanical

Grammar Police

I was going through and cleaning the spam from my inbox when I encountered the following subject:

:: :o: Attract Men with Bigger Breasts! :o: ::

Heh :)

Ah... that must have been meant for you to forward to all the women in your Little Black Address Book.

'Cause, "Who likes big breasts?"
CURTIS DOES!!!

Er, back to work...
Titles, read the titles ...

Hence the title, "Grammar Police" :)

Unless this was some weird advert about attracting transvestites, they made a little grammar boo boo (boob boob?). Of course, it could be a deliberate attempt to use curious titles to entice people. If that's the case, they can at least come up with better material. "Cheap nuclear weapons!", "Fresh puppy meat!" and "Real moon cheese samples!" are sure to be crowd-pleasers. Note the mandatory exclamation points!

"Real moon cheese samples!"
Oh Gods, thank you for being merciful.

It took me 8 hours to read the title of your post and as I revisited my [stupid] replies last night, I prayed for mercy.

I like the idea of intentional grammatical errors to entice people into reading.

I won't feel so high and mighty next time I am wrastled** into reading trash mail written by illiterates... because I've only fallen prey to a highly intellectual marketing ploy.

They are the ones in control.

***Zombie arms lift... Walks toward coffee machine...***


** Yes, I said "wrastled".
So what would be the smoother way of saying "With bigger breasts, attract men!"?

I have to admit that this one has been bugging me for a while. "Get bigger breasts with which to attract men" doesn't seem quite what the spammers want. The best I could come up with is "attract men with your bigger breasts". I think that would be short enough and convey the message.