At first I didn't realize that I was missing it, but this sort of thing sneaks up on you. Any of my friends would have noticed immediately. First of all, I was watching TV. I never watch TV. I'm not one of those people who loftily claims not to watch TV and then guiltily admits that there are one or two shows that I try and catch. I honestly do not watch the thing. I have a TV to watch movies, but I haven't turned it on in months. The fact that I'm sitting in a hotel room watching TV is a bad, bad sign.
And I was eating McDonalds. I swore off the clown meat a while ago, but they are right outside of my hotel room and they're cheap. What better accompaniment to the zombie box than this unfood? Yesterday, I was sitting at the writing desk in my room eating a Quarter Pounder. I was thinking "this stuff really isn't that bad." Then I sniffed it.
McDonalds needs to put warning labels on all of their products:
Do not Sniff!
Every time I have sniffed a McDonalds' sandwich, I get an unhealthy whiff of something. What is this thing I smell? Is this the smell of "no longer ready for prime time" beef? Or is it, as I suspect, a hint of something more foul? I am partaking of the archfiend himself. I washed down the unholy sacrament with a chocolate milkshake and tried not think about what that might symbolize. I did not sniff it.