Mechanical

Vermont: days 3 and 4.

Vermont day 3 can best be described with the word "alcohol". I think that pretty much covers it. Also, one of my hosts relayed a rather funny story about a trip to a resort that, unfortunately, I will not relate in a public forum. Ask me about it sometime.

Vermont day 4 was broken down into two parts. Part one -- the morning -- was where I sat in a shower and tried to figure out why there wasn't any blood going down the drain even though it was obvious that someone has run my head through a trash compactor and hastily pieced it back together. I prayed that I would live through the morning and then realized how stupid that was and started praying that I would die. I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon and my head still hurts.

The second part of the day was a trip to Montreal. The border crossing was rather dull and uninteresting. I briefly thought about telling the cute, grey-eyed border control officer that I had stuffed a condom of cocaine in certain unmentionable parts of my body, but I figured out that she probably wouldn't be the one to strip search me, so I abandoned that idea.

Montreal itself was not very interesting. I didn't have enough time and I didn't do any research, so I hit the downtown area. BIG MISTAKE. I had people sneer at me for not speaking French, two who spoke French switched to English when they heard how bad my French was and while I know my French is good enough to get by, I was quickly cowed into not attempting to butcher the language.

Side note: it's really, really weird to hear a woman speaking French and then quickly switching to English only to say "and her hair was, like, so curly I could have died." Valley girl sophisticates, I tell you.

I briefly got lost trying to get out of the city and started seeing some very beautiful buildings. I wish I could have stayed longer and seen more.