Ovid (publius_ovidius) wrote,

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Socialiazed What?

In the United States, I think it's safe to say that just about all Republicans -- and many Democrats -- are going to object to publicly funded national health care. We hear the same tired refrain over and over again: it's socialized medicine. In this context, "socialized" means to establish or regulate according to the theories of socialism. A lot of people are afraid of the socialist politicians who support this evil idea. Of course, all rational people know government shouldn't own or control anything which represents a public good. You may think that government bureaucracy can do better, but the private market has always proved itself more efficient.

Since I'm not a politician, I don't have to pussyfoot around with half truths. I can say what I really mean. I hate socialists. This country would be better off without 'em and I mean all of 'em.

First on my list are the god-damned cops. We all hate cops anyway, right? Domestic security is a public good and we all know that if we didn't have cops, people would be able to fend for themselves. A perpetual state of fear would make the world a better place. As Robert Heinlein explained it, an armed society is a polite society. When was the last time you ever heard drug dealers giving each other any lip, huh? 'Nuff said.

Next that have to go are firemen. You don't pay your fire bill, they should let your damned house burn. To this day our country has not lived down the disgrace of socialist firemen rescuing red-blooded Americans on 9-11. And what's worse? Some people call these men heroes! I mean, really, what sort of idiot do you have to be to say "yeah, I want to be underpaid to risk my life for ungrateful fucks." A Socialist Idiot, that's what.

And let's not forget our military. Government controlled and funded, through and through. As a child, I cried myself to sleep every time a military doctor helped me live through another asthma attack, knowing that our socialized military and the free medical care this entitled me to was a violation of everything our nation stands for. You remember the Vietnam war? Back then, cooks actually had some training on how to fire a gun. How fucked up is that? You know what a jack of all trades is? A master of none. You didn't hear soldiers praising their god-damned gourmet meals, did you? Hello no. Who do you want backing you up in a firefight? A cook or a professional soldier? What this country needs is three or four private militaries showing the value of competition. The people know that competent management, skilled in maximizing value for the dollar will provide us with the best defense this country can buy.

And the damned congressman voting for more money to throw away on military spending are a bunch of god-damned socialists. Throw the bastards out.
Tags: economics, politics
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