Knife Man

Worst pickup lines?

OK, so we've all heard bad pickup lines. What are the worst you've heard (or imagined?)

My entry: Does this smell like chloroform to you?
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You're not going to believe this, but I have a friend who slept with a guy in Japan just because he had air conditioning.

(She also has a delightful story of vomiting while having sex and her partner was so drunk he didn't notice. I need new friends)
Just to clarify my "I need new friends" comment: I'm kidding. She's a wonderful friend and I wouldn't give up her friendship for anything. Well, almost anything.
It was a very hot and muggy night when I heard that one used and it worked for him too. I didn't know either one of the involved people, I just overheard their exchange at the bar.
Ok I've hear a lot of really bad ones, but the worst I've heard I think was on the SF Bart train, an old man in a wheelchair whipped his dick and asked me if I wanted to help him celebrate veteran's day.
Being involved in the BDSM community, bad pickup lines are practically an art form. "Have whip, will travel."

Doesn't work.
It could be the 60 year old man on the bus today telling me how much he loved brainy women...
"You have great tits."

I misspelled "teats" to reflect the guy uttering the words...most likely wouldn't know how to spell it properly!!

It was in a club on goth/industrial night, but in a central Florida college town, so I guess it was one of the dumbo jocks that slipped in to...uhhh...pick up girls.... yeah.
"Boy, I sure wish I was back at the lab doing some DNA gel electrophoresis."
i'm almost ashamed to admit that i've used both of these successfully:

- nice boots, wanna fuck?

- so, is that collar functional, or just decorative? wanna try it out?
the best, not the worst...
A fellow I occasionally work with learned how smart I was & was all-of-a-sudden interested in me. He said, "I want to take naked pictures of your brain."
I once had a guy tell me that he was married but he fooled around....
One guy I knew asked a girl if she was married. She replied "yes." He then asked "do you cheat?" She gave the same answer.
Back when I was a redhead - "Is it true; more fire on the head, more fire in bed?" ugh!
well some of the crusty punks i used to know perfected this one

first take a big swig of your drink and spit on yourself
then take a big swig of drink and spit it on her
then say "Whadda you say we get out of these wet clothes?"
Oh where to start...

Once, years ago, when I slung coffee for my rent, a guy came into my work with his girlfriend. After they got their coffees, they sat around the cafe chatting. At some point, she gets up to go to the bathroom. As soon as she's out of sight, he hops up and starts milling around the counter. Then, he proceeds to ask me, "Is that [red] your natural hair color?" Uck, WHAT a sleeze.

Then last year some guy tried to pick up on a friend and me at the chemistry store room. That was priceless.
(Anonymous)
An old man in the park that no one really likes (especially me) walked up to me and smiled and said to me "The older the bull the harder the horn".
(oops didn't mean to be anonymous)
An old man no one in the park I live in walked up to me and said

"The older the bull, the harder the horn"

...HE WAS SERIOUS! I told him to stay away from me but he kept up till he moved away. I just avoided him after that. He had enough health problems without me making them worse.
I was at a club once and this guy asked me to dance and said "Make sure I'm out of bed by 7 tomorrow morning, I have to be at work by 7.30" I left him standing there!!!
I need new friends too
(Anonymous)
I heard this, once : "hey, girl, do you know gcc ?"

-- rafael g-s