Ovid (publius_ovidius) wrote,

Lies, damn lies, and protecting someone's identity

The following journal entry is a pack of lies. However, it's lies with the intent of protecting the identity of someone who should remain anonymous. In fact, the only reason this entry is going to be made is because he gave me permission to blog about this under the condition that I change enough detail to protect everyone's identity.

Though this is a pack of lies (names, places, etc.), the story itself is basically true.

My friend Alec Baldwin has decided to adopt the name Charlie Daniels. This is because he's investigating Ethel Farquhar and using his real name is Not An Option. Alec is going to apply for a job with Ethel's company.

Alec/Charlie shows up early one morning with his trusty sidekick, Herman. They're at Ethel's office so Alec can do a bit of investigating regarding Ethel's treatment of her employees. "Charlie's" interview goes so well that Ethel actually wants to hire him. Unfortunately, Alec/Charlie doesn't have his paperwork handy, but that's OK. Ethel wants to hire him anyway.

Later on, Alec and Herman are sitting in their car, figuring out the best way to "borrow" a binder with information they probably need. At this point, Herman points out that since the binder is in the lobby, he can grab it if "Charlie" can distract Ethel long enough.

Regrettably, Charlie's wallet appears to have fallen out of his pocket and Ethel, happy to see Charlie, helps him look for it. Herman walks into the lobby and grabs the binder right as Ethel and Charlie walk back into the lobby. Herman drops the binder on the counter and Ethel doesn't even notice. She and Charlie then walk into another room to look for the wallet and Herman grabs the binder and leaves.

And what was in the binder? Only the entire employee list for the company. Score!

I have to admit, if programming didn't pay so well, I'd be sorely tempted to go into Alec's line of work.
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