Struggle

Personal Transformations

I wrote an email to a friend and then realized that I was pretty much writing a journal entry, so here it is.

Once again, I walked to work today. I do this for a variety of reasons. One is because I want to exercise more and this forces me to walk for an extra hour a day. However, it was the peace rallies that were the primary catalyst for this. I want to be more responsible and use less gas. This benefits the environment and if everyone were to do this, we could perhaps force petroleum-dependant industries to consider more environmentally friendly revenue models and possibly even have less of a desire to project our might into oil rich nations.

However, I find myself thinking about other areas in my life where my actions don't reflect my beliefs. While my allergy to raw fruits and vegetables makes vegetarianism less practical than for most, I can't help but object to our treatments of the animals we eat. *****'s aunt once bought a bunch of chickens that had been engineered to have large breasts. She had been warned to "harvest" the chickens by a certain date. She didn't and was horrified when these chickens started having spontaneous heart attacks and their legs were breaking under their own weight. We have cattle that must be milked regularly lest they suffer and take ill and turkeys that can't breed without assistance. This is causing me a bit of distress when I help support these industries, but I shut my conscience off when I cook Chicken Pariesienne.

I have no qualms about eating meat; I see nothing immoral about eating a chicken when no one would object that a fox does this. However, is it truly immoral to breed animals that can't live without human assistance? Many of these animals grow up in pain. This is bothering me, but my hypocrisy reigns supreme.

And I smoke. I've tried to quit many times, but with no success. I suppose I should try the patch again, but nightclubs concern me as I can't seem to resist my cravings. Damn!

It's time for me to sit back and start taking stock of my life and figure out what is really important to me and try to follow it. Needless to say, I've been rather thoughtful today.
  • Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
  • Current Music: Spearhead - Why oh why
I totally relate with the food-related guilt. I can hardly stomach the thought of those poor, defenseless animals being held captive and living in unthinkable conditions to put food on my plate. It's not necessary that I eat meat and I don't eat a whole lot of it --- but, I would love to have my actions and convictions consistent, too.

Sometimes I justify it by thinking, "Hey, I am one person... it's not going to change the industry." But, my heart knows that that is how mass change starts... with one person.

Good luck with your life changes. I'm with you!
I totally understand about the food stuff. The more I learn about the meat and food industry, the more wary I become. I tend to purchase meat that has been ethically raised, avoiding the high volume engineered meat. It costs more but commercial meat grosses me out for the reasons you listed above and because of the level of phamaceuticals that get pumped into the beasties. You are what you eat. Bleck..at least we have choices.