Bohindian Rhapsody

Indian food is barf of a plate.

There. I said it. Deal.

I can't stand the stuff. I suppose if I had grown up with it, I would like it, but I didn't and I don't. My sister just emailed me a curious parody of Bohemian Rhapsody. It's silly, but it sums up my opinions about Indian food much better than I can (and my apologies in advance to all of my Indian food (or Indian) loving friends out there.)

Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back from the loo by this time tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Bottom aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
This dopiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

[guitar solo]

I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely Very very spicy
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
(A vindaloo loo loo loo)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back
'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder, it's coming back again
(There he goes)
Coming back again
(up again)
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo
Is about to wreck my guts
Poor meee.. poor meeee...poor MEEEEEE!

[guitar solo]

So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out
It just had to come right out in here.

[guitar solo]

[slow bit]
Korma or dopiaza
bhaji, naan or saag
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
To meee....
(Any way the wind blows....shshshsh)
  • Current Mood: chipper chipper
You, sir, are unwashed swine. I think all that Fresca has whittled your tastebuds off.

Friday...woo hoo!
Y'know, normally I'm not a fan of Indian food either, but there's this one place here in Albuquerque that's really good. It's not quite so, well, Indian as Indian food normally is. I don't know how to describe it. It's like American Indian. Well, no, that doesn't work because that'd be Native American. But, you get the idea.
Hmm ... I thought your post was some form of random joke. Perhaps it is, who knows? But one thing I do know is that I do not know you.

In the unlikely chance that you're serious: I'm just some random guy out in Oregon and this is a case of mistaken identity.

So no, you won't be seeing me tonight :)

Good luck.
Don't cha just hate it when that happens??
Laughing so hard I can't stand it! You must have a secret admirer you didn't know about! Who knows, she might be that raving beauty you always wanted!! Assuming you wanted one! LOL. Dai eats lots of curry....So I guess I better learn how to make it! I am not a fan of indian cuisine but I had a passingly good chicken curry last week. Call me sometime!! I wanna hear your voice bro! Hugs!!