Of course, it was triggered by MySQL.

When you sleep, your muscles relax. Of course, this includes the muscles in the throat, around the larynx. Apparently, this allows your larynx and vocal cords to vibrate more freely and this is why many people have a deeper voice in the morning than the rest of the day.

I swear that some mornings I wake up and make James Earl Jones sound like he's been sucking on helium. Today has been one of those days. It's finally settling down.

Since I've started trying to avoid profanity, I keep getting asked "why" or "what do you consider profane"? I've not really been answering this because I've been struggling to understand it myself. I'm getting deeper into this understanding, so I'll try to answer your questions better.

First, I am using profanity. I don't mean to, but it's hard. The longest I've lasted is getting to "day 3", but that was only because I was off work sick for two days. It's been very disheartening realizing I have so little self-control that I can't stop using profanity. I've thought about giving up, but I haven't yet.

Second, what do I consider profane? Profanity, strictly speaking, is an irreverence or contempt for God or sacred principles or things. However, since I don't believe in a God or Gods, how can I consider anything profane? I revere life. I revere communication. I am constantly in awe of how people can interact and do great things -- along with terrible things. Thus, what many consider "obscenity", I consider "profanity" if used inappropriately. As such, while you might consider "goddamn" profane, I also consider using the word "fuck" in anger profane.

But wait! Didn't I just violate my "no profanity" pledge? When I first started, I would have said "yes". Now I don't. Carefully chosen words, deliberately picked to make a point, are part of what I honor. As such, saying "fuck" in the appropriate time or place (I can hear the jokes already) is not a violation of what I'm trying to achieve.

What's a violation of what I'm trying to achieve is the thoughtless use of profanity when communicating with other people. That's all. Do I care if other people use profanity around me? No, not if it's not directed at me in anger. I'm not trying to tell other people what to do or trying to set an example of how they should behave. This is just a personal thing to get myself back to a place I value.

I'm really not sure how this viewpoint will evolve -- or whether it will wither and die -- but so far, I like what I'm trying to achieve, even if I haven't achieved it.

That's enough of being a sanctimonious ass (deliberately chosen word!) for one day.

It's really easy to make it to "Day 2" of no profanity. Just get sick and not work.

The night before last, elves snuck into my mouth and took sand paper to my uvula. Not the back of my throat (which feels fine), but that dangly bit back there. Swallowing is painful and I can't recall ever having a sore throat quite this bad. Apparently this is going around, but that's not much consolation. Even with the anesthetic cough drops and the Tylenol with codeine, I still have that lethargy that comes with fighting an infection.

What's even worse is my realization that I seem to be getting sick far more often here in London than I have anywhere else. Of course, I've not actually tracked this so I can't prove it, but I really do feel like my body is saying nasty things about this part of the world.

I am, again, back on "Day 1" of no profanity. I can't believe how incredibly hard this is. My brother Greg asked me how long I was going to do this for and I replied, "I'd just be pretty happy to complete three day."

Greg replied, "You're going to have to wait an awfully long time then."

Ever since I decided to stop using profanity, I found myself failing every day. I had to start with "Day 1" three days in a row. Today I finally made it to "Day 2". Heading to a pub with a friend, I let profanity slip again. It was an innocuous conversation about an incident back in the States, but I slipped up nonetheless.

Tomorrow is Day 1 for the fourth time in five days. I knew it would be hard, but not this hard.

Today I decided to stop using profanity. It lasted all of about two hours before I found myself cursing at one of our servers. I was very disappointed in myself.

I'll try again tomorrow. I used to never cuss. Ever. It simply didn't happen. Eventually I figured I was just letting off steam, but now I realize that it's building it up. Every time I swear, I'm allowing myself to get upset. It's time to stop that. I now even cuss in the most casual of situations. I was at lunch with a colleague the other day and was amazed at how much I was cussing.

Time to stop.